This is a guest post by Daire Paddy from DairePaddy.com
We’re exposed to them every day of our lives. The shiny people. The business owners building empires from Bali. The entrepreneurial powerhouses living in a rose gold world of green smoothies and white space. A.K.A. the reason so many burgeoning solopreneurs don’t even get started.
Intimidation paralyses, baby. It stops us from free-falling into what we want. It gives us permission to hide away. To just not bother until we’re “ready”.
Why do we find these glossy girls (and guys) so utterly terrifying?
There are so many reasons. They’re the “experts”, and clearly WAY more qualified than us. They’re so IN DEMAND. They’re surrounded by legions of loyal fans, and a posse primed to attack. They’re everywhere. All the time. And they just get So. Much. Done. They have all the ideas. They live a #blessed life. Everything is so effing colour coordinated!
These feelings come to us all, in some way or another. Unfortunately, comparison is a demon raised by the spread of the Internet. We have the power to see EVERYTHING (or so we believe), and that means we see how well people are doing.
(I’ll let you in on a little secret – we see what they want us to see!)
But do you know what? There are so many ways to upgrade your own business process. It’s not about copying everything these digital divas do, it’s about upping your confidence so that you forget about how much better “everyone else” is doing. You need to spend that energy elsewhere if you want to achieve your own goals.
Let’s address the crazy talk, one step at a time…
They’re “experts”, and clearly WAY more qualified than you.
To be an expert in your field, you don’t need to know everything there is to know about everything. Honestly, that’s not the kind of person people want to learn from. We want to learn from those that are a few steps ahead, not out there, walking on water in the distance.
An expert is a person who has a special skill, or has knowledge in some particular field. That’s it.
Now tell me that isn’t you. Tell me there’s nothing you’re good at. Tell me you don’t know ANYTHING.
(If you can hand-on-heart say both of those things, you probably shouldn’t be running your own business. Just saying)
A few months ago I took a trip to London to see the amazing Elizabeth Gilbert, and she had a lot of advice that can be applied to running a business. The one point that really stuck with me is that we all have missing pieces – even those seemingly perfect pros.
Nobody can fully equip us for running our own business. Not our parents. Not our teachers. Not our friends. They do their best. They offer up the knowledge and experience that they have, but that’s all they can do.
It’s up to you to fill your own gaps. Make the most of those opt-ins you sign up for. Head down to your local library. Listen to podcasts while you’re out and about.
Identify the things you need to know to take that next step, and make it your mission to educate yourself.
They’re so IN DEMAND.
Have you ever considered that this is all an illusion?
Creating the impression of exclusivity is a sure fire way to get people knocking down the door. And believing that you have REAL value to offer.
Stop being available every second of every day. Why would people want to pay for your time if they can get your brain for free?
Set up an email autoresponder outlining your boundaries. You don’t NEED to check your emails more than twice a day. And you certainly don’t need to respond to every email within minutes. While you’re at it, turn off Facebook Messenger.
Schedule set times to pop into your Facebook groups and answer any questions. The same applies to Twitter – take part in a chat (or host your own) rather than monitoring your feed constantly. If you’re at everyone’s beck and call all the live long day, how do you expect to get anything done?!
Put limits on your packages and programs. In other words, create a deadline for signing up, or a restriction on how many people can participate. This creates a sense of urgency around whichever great thing you’re offering.
They’re surrounded by legions of loyal fans, and a posse primed to attack.
Sooo… the internet can be a pretty scary place. Trolls don’t live under bridges anymore. They live online. And crazy cliques do seem to form around the Super-Solopreneurs. It’s not unheard of for hoards of stalkers fans to pounce on unsuspecting tweeters after every perceived slight.
There’s nothing you can do about that, and to be frank, it’s not your place to worry about other people going psycho online. Concern yourself with your own community. Surround yourself with the people you enjoy.
So how the hell do you go from loner to leader of the pack?
I’ve already mentioned Twitter chats, but they’re worth pointing to again. Twitter chats are a really effective way to connect with random people from across the world, united by a common interest or goal.
Build your own Team TLC. A Team TLC is a group of no more than 5 people who agree to tweet/like/comment on each other’s blog posts. It’s a really effective way to bond with other biz owners, to open your content up to wider audiences AND to easily find stuff to share across your social channels.
Take the time to respond to people. If someone leaves you a lovely comment, or hits reply to your newsletter, continue that connection. It may only take you a moment, but it will give the other person warm fuzzy feelings.
Kathleen Shannon recommends creating a “Hot List 200” – a list of 200 people you’ve come across online that you would like to be friends with, then brainstorm ways you can start connecting. You could drop them an email, letting them know you appreciate what they do online. You could tweet about their latest podcast (tagging them, of course). Relationships are developed over a lifetime, but there’s no reason you can’t start now.
They’re everywhere. All the time. And they just get So. Much. Done.
Let me start out by saying this – most glittering entrepreneurs have a full team of worker bees buzzing around behind the scenes. It’s time to face facts –
You will never get as much done as a team of 10.
You can’t do daily blog posts, scopes, webinars, launches, masterminds and coaching sessions, as well as all your finance, admin, marketing and networking.
I’m sorry, that’s just the way it is.
HOWEVER, there are a few ways you can start taking some of that pressure off. Working a little smarter to create space AND spread the word.
Investigate outsourcing. This could be as simple as having some graphic designed on Fiverr rather than labouring over Photoshop for hours, or shipping your accounting off to a pro. Look into hiring a VA for a few hours a month so that you can pull yourself away from admin, and focus on what sells.
Brainstorm creative ways to repurpose content you’ve already created, rather than starting from scratch at every turn. Perhaps an old blog series could be updated and turned into your new opt-in? Or an ebook from years ago could be transformed into an online workshop?
Use scripts to streamline communications AND save yourself some time. Start compiling a list of questions you respond to, and stash your drafts in nice clean Google Docs. Next time a query is shot your way this little library will help you respond promptly and without procrastination.
Get to grips with IFTTT. Use “If This Then That” to automate the promotion of any new products, posts or packages. Do it right and every time you hit “publish”, you’ll have updates shooting across every social platform you have, with zero effort from your lovely self.
They have all the ideas.
It’s easy to train yourself to come up with great ideas – the challenge is following through with them (and knowing that sometimes, it’s ok not to).
Start by booking time in your diary to braindump your thoughts onto a page. Emptying your mind clears space for all the new stuff heading your way.
Create your very own “swipe file” in Evernote (i.e. a notebook that you’re going to fill with anything and everything that makes you stop and think “ooh, nice!”). I always recommend Evernote for this, because the web clipper makes it so so easy to send things to your swipe AND you can sync with every device and update on the go.
Claudia Azula Altucher recommends coming up with 10 ideas every single morning. In her book Become An Idea Machine, Claudia provides you with 180 daily prompts designed to get those cogs a-whirring, but there’s no reason you can’t adapt this practice to suit your needs. Why not write out your own list of prompts that will help your business?
Try these on to get you going…
- 10 creative ways to get testimonials
- 10 tweets inspired by your latest blog posts
- 10 posts to make up a blog series
- 10 new content upgrades to offer on your website
- 10 ways to connect with someone you’d love to work for (or with)
- 10 websites you’d love to guest post for (+ what you’d write about)
They live a blessed life. Everything is so effing color coordinated!
No human lives in a perfect world – what you’re seeing is a business persona, not a person.
Harness your imperfections and your struggles – they make you powerful. They give you a story. Those humps you’ve hit along the road are what makes people want to work with you.
Think about it.
Would you want to listen to someone who’s shared your struggles and CONQUERED, or someone who spends all their time napping in a rose bed without getting a single thorn in their ass?
I’m sick of the glossy perfection that litters my social feeds!Click To Tweet
WRAP UP
So you see, there’s a lot you can do to beat back your shiny, happy demons. You (and your business) are worth no less than theirs – you just need to stop expecting the Instalife and go do the work.
Daire Paddy is a creative copywriter and ideas girl, who works with awesome online ladies looking to rock their businesses. She also likes Victorian novels, drinking tea and embracing all the other English stereotypes. You can find her (and a ton of freebies) over on her website.
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Yet another great post full of wonderful info (and links that are truly useful)! Thanks, I know I can always come here to get fired up and on the right track ?
Well hot damn if that isn’t the best feedback EVA! You best holler anytime you need to be fired up, I’m here to light your fire anyway I can, lady! <3
-Dre
I adore this post SO MUCH! Each. single. word. is the thing that I’ve been feeling subsequent to the new blogger naivety wore off a couple of months back. I think that its hard to remark in Facebook bunches in light of the fact that my cerebrum continues letting me know that the majority of the other individuals there are clearly much better at the subject of and why should “I” attempt to offer exhortation. I won’t endeavor Instagram. With or without that kind of whininess, THANK YOU for this post and the significant recommendations. The part about thinking of XX number of thoughts each morning is my top choice!
Right there with ya, sistah – we ALL struggle with this ‘Am I good enough’ loop…it’s the brave that push on despite that shit that will reap the rewards so charge through and I PROMISE your confidence will grow and grow.
Here’s the best morning thoughts you can muster. ?
This is the perfect post at perfect timing. I too get lost in that shiny insta accounts with millions of followers and think dude I belong to nowhere.
Thanks for the awesome post. Goona share it.
That’s the foolery in the gloss, but it’s NOT real so don’t let it get you down.
Thanks a ton for the comment and share love, Siya!!
Dude, you clearly belong with us!
I love this post SO MUCH! Every. single. word. is what I’ve been feeling since the new blogger naivety wore off a few months ago. I find it difficult to comment in Facebook groups because my brain keeps telling me that all of the other people there are obviously much better at this whole thing and who am “I” to try to offer advice. I won’t even attempt Instagram. All that sort of whininess aside, THANK YOU for this post and the actionable suggestions. The part about coming up with XX number of ideas every morning is my favorite!
Do not EVER feel like that in The Badass Solopreneur Society! Those fears are just your inner hater holding you back. We want to hear your suggestions and voice, so don’t stay over there silent…let the awesome {and YES, you’re awesome} out!
You’re most welcome for this post, when Daire submitted it I was in love, she dropped all this in a way I couldn’t stop frantically nodding my head.
BIG ass high five coming at ya, Julie…
Julie, I *totally* know how you feel. I am like the biggest Facebook lurker known to man. We should start a “lurkers only” group… just think how peaceful it would be!
Nothing really prepared me for the emotional ups and downs of blogging! Three years into it I’ve got a much better handle on how to enjoy the highs and push through the hum drums and lows. Great post, and a wonderful push for me to stay focused!
The truth is we ALL struggle with dealing with the roller coaster of emotions when it comes to being a solopreneur – many just aren’t willing to admit that or show it. I’m so stoked Daire could nail it for you and delivery a hefty dose of motivation. Here’s to staying focused on your goals and kicking ass getting there. You GOT THIS, lady!! {fist bump}
Blogging is SUCH a drug. I’m so glad you’ve found this post useful ?
I love this! I know on some level that everything I see online is carefully curated, but it gets hard to keep that in mind when I see gorgeous Instagram accounts with thousands of followers and I’m mopping baby puke off of my phone while trying to prepare for my launch. I’m definitely going to hang on to this article to reread when I need a friendly kick in the butt! Thank you both of you!
LOL, please post that pic. THAT’S the shit I wanna see on Instagram…the real day to day of the solo, baby puke and all. Don’t let the gloss make you feel less than, there’s too many of us in the shadows that appreciate your realness, Amanda! {fist bump}
I always imagine people just sweeping all their mess into a corner to get it out of the photo frame – like Monica’s crazy clutter cupboard. And honestly? It’s the reason I barely use Instagram myself – not only does it make me feel “less than” but I also don’t have anything pristine enough to take pictures of!! Pretty much all of my belongings have ink smudges and paint stains #curseofanartist
Absolutely love this! And I don’t know where I read it but I resonate so much with the saying “don’t compare your beginning with someone else’s middle”. They may just seem to have come on the scene a couple months ago but they’ve probably put in years of work and the collective wisdom of all of that has helped them achieve what they have. Thanks for this post Daire and Dre! People need to read this and am off to share! ?
You got that right, and most of the time that’s EXACTLY what’s going on. I know peeps think I’ve just been all uphill because I gained traction quickly with The Branded Solopreneur, but what they don’t realize is that I made 2,424,956 mistakes that I learned from in the 3 brands I launched {and failed at} before this. It’s been a long road, so I know for a fact comparing is NEVER apples to apples…no matter how much we think it is.
THANK YOU from the bottom of my wine filled heart for helping Daire and I spread this one and end the ‘gloss envy’ that’s running rampant out there! {fist bump}
Meera, it’s so true! And that’s one of the challenges of living this online life… we don’t see a full picture, but we seem to think we do. I love it when other entrepreneurs share the shitstorms they’ve experienced – it makes me feel much less “behind”.
Yep! Totally agree with all of this. Sometimes I come up with a great idea and then I get all down because someone is already doing it and they’re “so much better” already and then there are times I have so much going on in my head that I can’t keep up so I wish I had those teams of 10 people so I can get what is in my head OUT! Then there are those who are always writing “here is why I don’t read your posts” or “here is why I don’t buy your stuff” and it just makes me want to shout “well you aren’t my target market anyways!”. Bottom line, comparing ourselves stinks and I have come to conclude that it’s not healthy! HA! Ok, done. Rant over! Thanks for this post! Glad I am not alone!
Preach it girl, I couldn’t agree with you more. I do every damn thing you mentioned too and even though I KNOW it’s ridiculous I can’t seem to stop. Why do we have to be so comparison driven? Ugh
Here’s to pushing back on the gloss and NEVER letting the phony gloss get us down! ROCK ON with your badass self, Yami – you soooooo got this, girl! ?
Whew! For a minute there I thought I was coming on too strong (see, self doubt right there!) so it’s nice to know I can be myself on here! LOL
HELL NO….promise me you’ll always keep it real, no matter how strong it feels! <3
Yami, thanks for reading! I just want to say one thing – please don’t ever think you can’t do something, just because somebody else is doing something similar. There’s no such thing as a new idea, there’s only your interpretation. (And if you’re here, we all know your interpretation will be BADASS).
And dude, if you ever need a rant, come talk to me xx
gold world of green smoothies and white space
ha ha ha you made my day, couldn’t describe it better!
YES, the gold, green and white littering my feeds is such glossy BS. Thanks for the love, I couldn’t agree that Daire laid it out so eloquently!
Isn’t it true, though? I swear my Instagram feed is just full of white and green and gold… with the ubiquitous pink rose petal here and there, of course.
Thank you for this! It’s so easy to get discouraged because you don’t see everyone elses’ “behind the scenes”, only your own. Great article and awesome resources.
Soooo true! Most times if we saw their ‘behind the scenes’ we’d see they fail just as often as us, are just as scared and insecure as us, and most likely have circumstances that are totally different to us {like a team, a background to work from, etc}. Comparisons will get us no where, but that doesn’t make it any easier to stop doing. Here’s to keeping our eyes on OUR prize.
Thanks a ton for the comment love, Briana!! {fist bump}
Hi Briana! I’m so glad you enjoyed it ? Do you know what my No #1 favourite thing to see is? Other peoples’ “behind the scenes”. Maybe I’m incredibly nosy, or maybe I’m desperate to find someone as un-put-together as me… who knows? I for one wish other business badasses would share more of that stuff!
Looooved the article! It’s true that sometimes other people’s success can do more wrong than good. Most of us solopreneurs tend to be overly critics of ourselves, and at the end of the day, that doesn’t help our business grow.
Thanks for sharing, Daire and Dre ?
Didn’t Daire just nail it?! That’s so true, a lot of times watching someone else thrive makes me feel shittier about myself…which in turn makes me feel like a bitter, jealous person. And the cycle begins.
Personally, I think we all need to address and own these habits so we can help each other move past them
You got this lady, and you’ve got this whole community behind you to help keep you on track. ?
Thanks Dre! I’m part of your Facebook group as well and I know the power of having a great community!
Recognising that sometimes we feel jealous is the first step to transform that nasty energy into something productive for our business. I look at success and ask myself how to reach it, instead of feeling bad because my mailing list doesn’t grows like I’d wish.
YES, that’s the outlook we need. Honestly, it’s you badasses that make me want to be better and do better! I can’t bring myself to let you down, so I channel that for the greater good. ?
I’m so glad you found this useful, Sol. I think people are missing a trick when they share all this perfection. I know I would DEFINITELY rather invest in someone that I *know* has experienced (and overcome) the struggles I’m facing – not someone that’s never seen the outside of an organic smoothie bar. #Justsaying